How to Get the Most Out of Family Mediation

Mediation is an extremely effective form of alternative dispute resolution (ADR) that can help separating couples reach agreement on various issues such as children, property and finances.

It has many advantages over the litigation process, including being quicker and cheaper and resulting in better outcomes.

However, what you get out of the process depends on what you put in. Approaching Family Mediation with the right mindset can help ensure it is a positive experience all round.

To mark this year’s Family Mediation Week, our Head of Family Law and accredited Family Mediator, Paul Wilson, gives his top tips for a successful Mediation.

Understand your goals.

Before you start Family Mediation, it is worth considering the issues you need to cover and what you want to get out of the process.

Do you need help to decide where your children will live and when they will have contact with the other parent? Are you struggling to agree on how to divide assets like property, pensions, savings, and investments? Do you want to discuss rules around introducing new partners?

Thinking about what you want to achieve from Mediation helps focus your mind and will ensure each session is productive.

Be prepared.

Familiarising yourself with what happens in Mediation sessions before you start will mean you know what to expect.

The Family Mediation Council (FMC) has numerous free resources on its website, including videos explaining what Family Mediation is, what you need to know if you are considering Mediation, and how to prepare for your initial Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM).

Click here to find out more.

If you are attending Mediation to help reach an agreement with your ex-partner on financial matters, it is useful to have a good understanding of the assets you hold jointly and in your sole name.

Gathering the relevant paperwork, such as bank statements, property valuations, and pension documents so that you have them to hand when you need them can help facilitate the process of financial disclosure.

Treat others as you would like to be treated.

Communicating with an ex-partner can be difficult and residual issues can often get in the way of productive conversations.

Mediation sessions benefit from people remembering the golden rule: treat people as you would like to be treated.

Speak to others with respect, be patient, use positive language, don’t be defensive or dismissive, and focus on finding solutions that work for everybody involved.

Be flexible.

Mediation is based on the principle of couples working together, alongside an independent, professional third-party, to reach an agreement on their affairs that is considered ‘fair’.

Compromise is key.

Listening to your partner’s point of view without interruption and attempting to see things from their perspective can help you reach mutually beneficial solutions.

Understand the role of the Mediator.

Family Mediators are neutral and trained to facilitate communication and assist with negotiations between separating couples.

They will not try to get you back together with your ex and – will not take sides. They are impartial. They will also maintain the confidentiality of the Mediation process.

A Mediator’s role is to listen to both parties and help you find a solution you can agree on.

It helps to consider a Mediator’s background, experience and specialisms, to ensure you get the right fit.

A good Mediator will help create a calm atmosphere that fosters collaboration.

Family Solicitors Alton

At Bookers & Bolton, we appreciate that Family Law matters can be highly emotional and stressful for everyone involved.

Our Head of Family Law, Paul Wilson, has practised Family Law for over 30 years and is an accredited Family Mediator.

Paul can assist with all issues arising from family relationship breakdown, including holding MIAMs and conducting private Mediation.

He can work remotely and often meets clients online over Zoom, helping individuals and families with their legal matters in Hampshire and across the UK.

Regardless of the nature of your family dispute, or the complexity of the matter, our specialist Family Law team is committed to finding the right solution.

We will advise you on your options and carefully guide you through the process, tailoring our advice to your needs and situation.